Let the Macalope begin this week’s column by noting that it’s all his fault. If you were wondering what happens when you want on a monkey’s paw for Apple to make a smaller phone again, the answer is that the company doesn’t make one, it makes two, but in the wrong order.
Just last week that horny one marveled that we had no rumors of iPhone production cuts. Well now we have one and it is annoyingly specific.
The Macalope is what kids would call an iPhone 12 mini stan (which is short for “Stanley Superfan”, a longtime Detroit Tigers fan whose last name was simply “Superfan”) hence hearing that request for his favorite phone is allegedly “weaker than expected” slightly induces anger since it bought 20, what else should it do? Tile your bathroom with them? Why it will if that’s what it takes to get Apple to keep making a smaller phone.
Dieter Bohn of The Verge he has declared:
- Apple only produces ever larger phones
- People are clamoring for smaller phones
- Every five years Apple sells and produces a smaller phone in response to that apparent demand
- The question is an illusion, not enough people are buying them
- Go to 1
Well, yes, other than that being, you know, that’s not good at all. The iPhone SE of 2016 sold very well, how did he do the replacement of 2020. If we take these production cut rumors seriously, there is a more reasonable explanation than “nobody wants small phones”. As the Macalope has already suggested, the problem is more likely that pent-up demand for a smaller phone stopped for 2020 SE because it came out first. Then, when the iPhone 12 mini was released, no one wanted to buy another phone in the midst of a pandemic, even if it was one they wanted more. You can’t expect people to hang on to a phone for four years, then finally release its supposed replacement only to expect them to buy another phone six months later.
In addition to the Macalope, of course. He plunged headlong into a pool full of deer ticks for a slightly small phone. He hopes it doesn’t come to that, but that’s where the line lies in case Tim Cook wonders.
Ideally Apple will see the conundrum it has created. The fault is not in the iPhone 12 mini, Apple, but in yourself.
The Macalope would have tried to find that monkey’s paw to make a more specific wish, but the monkey escaped.
Of course it was still attached. What kind of monster do you take the Macalope for?
Oh, some kind of Dr. Moreau’s Island-style cross between a human, a Mac, and a hoofed animal? Well then that’s exactly the right kind of monster. Good for you. You nailed it.
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