Fill the hole in the shape of Donald Trump with a new life

It’s not been three weeks since Twitter, Facebook and others silenced Donald Trump by cutting his digital tongue.

And it’s only been a few days since he went to Mar-a-Lago in the company of his weeping grown children and his indifferent trophy wife, leaving any positive legacy he might have hoped for in smoldering ruins.

His fall was a result for which (in my small way) I worked tirelessly, prayed assiduously, waited patiently and welcomed with joy.

However, I am surprised to find that I miss him.

Not in the sense of wanting to see him in all his inflated belligerence or wanting to read one of his vituperative, semi-literate tweets or wanting to hear one of his terrible word salads, but in the sense that he left a void in my life of which I am increasingly aware of.

I can’t remember in my long life ever having hated anyone, at least not an American. Other than Donald Trump, that is. I hate it.

For five and a half years I suffer from Trump Derangement Syndrome, a condition that in its most virulent manifestation, of which I am a perfect case study, consumes too much almost every day and literally deforms life in many ways.

The costs of the disease are significant, whether measured in terms of lost perspective, elevated blood pressure, or the number of former friends and family members who are separated.

Yet I do not regret anything.

Hate filled me with unusual passion and provided me with purpose and direction, things too often lacking in daily worries. I’ve been alive and busy, writing editorials, giving press interviews, posting on social media, appearing on talk shows, talking about politics with strangers in grocery store parking lots.

I had a mission and my colors were nailed to the mast. A quarter was not asked and none was given.

But now the battle, if not the war, is won, and the constant adrenaline that sustained former Republican NeverTrump Ronin like me for so long is subsiding, at least in my case.

Yes, the madness of Marjorie Taylor Green, the antics of Matt Gaetz, the oily obsequiousness of Lindsey Graham and the servility of Ron DeSantis still require the attention and efforts of men and women of goodwill everywhere, and I will do mine. part to help anathematize them and all of their fellow collaborators with bell, book and candle, but collectively don’t care about Donald Trump when it comes to posing an existential threat to American democracy or making an old patriot’s heart beat faster .

The analogy that comes to mind when I walk my dog, Chester, in the morning and I feel something is wrong is with the hole in me when I came home from the war a little over half a century ago. .

Life, of course, was immeasurably better once he returned, but it was a monochromatic and tasteless existence compared to Chu Lai and Da Nang.

The fervent anti-war demonstrations I saw on the University of Florida campus, where I was a 21-year-old freshman, were exciting, but not like an emergency extract from a hot landing zone.

The girls, the alcohol and the drugs were hilarious, but not like the prolonged run that was the Tet offensive. Adjustments were needed.

So, I filled the hole the war left with a new life.

It took some time, but I got rid of the adrenaline. I have developed different behaviors, found other purposes and experienced new satisfactions. I managed to go from wild to conventional without too many detours, much to the relief of my family and friends.

Likewise, I may need a new life now. Start playing chess. Work on my execrable French. Make the pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela. Read more. Play bridge again.

Or maybe Trump will run away from Elbe – I mean Mar-a-Lago – and figuratively march to Washington, in which case I can give up fighting French and learn Ruy Lopez’s opening and throw myself on him once again in the virtual company. of my compatriots NeverTrump.

For the good of the country, I don’t want it, but I’m ready for it.

After all, the hole in me is shaped like a Trump.


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